There are some days when it all goes well. There are some when it all goes badly. I can pretty much live with both of these; my emotions can handle extremes pretty well.
What I really struggle with is when you have a day which is both phenomenal – and I mean mind-bendingly, awe-inspiringly brilliant – at the same time as being dreadful in a way you had never even considered.
I went to Alice’s Parents’ evening this evening. I’ve said it before on here – and there are parents of children out there like Alice who will know what I mean – but to hear her teachers saying how well she is doing – not well as a deaf child, but well as a thriving, cheeky, bright and intelligent child – just about finished me off. I know they read this blog and I hope they will forgive my bleary eyes. It was a wonderful thing to hear. Proof that all Alice’s battles and hard work had been worth it. Vindication, dare I say it, of our decision.
Alice is a star. She is remarkable. She has come so far and we are so proud of her. We couldn’t be happier.
But……..and there had to be a ‘But’……
Alice’s ‘new ear’: the implant she had fitted two years ago, has failed. Cochlear have had a well reported issue with a bad batch of N5 implants that let moisture in and then failed. It usually happens between six and 12 months so we thought we were clear……sadly not. Alice went along to George’s today to find out why her processor had been flicking on and off and why it wouldn’t connect at all in the past day. Now we know. Bugger.
So this means a new implant, a new surgery and more running to stand still. Bless our little girl.
Imagine just for one moment that someone switched one of your ears off. Imagine how difficult and disruptive that would be. Imagine now that your hearing wouldn’t be reeturned to the way you knew it for at least three months: 6 weeks until surgery, 4 weeks recovery before switch-on and then several more weeks adjustment as the brain re-learns. I can’t imagine how it must be for our littler Alice. As ever, when told she was having another surgery and a new ‘magic ear’, Alice just shrugged and asked if she could have a biscuit……
Surgery date will be confirmed tomorrow we are told. They couldn’t actually do her the same day as Oliver………could they? It has been floated out there as an option…..
Whatever the outcome, she is still our perfect little fighter. We are so proud of her and her achievements yet reminded, so cruely, about the fragility of her hearing. Would that she took some words of her own advice: