It’s not often I do this…

…but I’m sure you’ll forgive me this once.

I am angry. Really bloody angry.

They say lightening doesn’t strike the same place twice. Well it does. And it has.

I don’t feel sorry for myself, never have and never will, but for poor little Oliver, who we only knew for one day before having to plan for his future without hearing.

We went back to Queen Mary’s in Roehampton this morning – the very same place our journey started with Alice. Same Audiologist too. A full set of diagnostic ABRs was done and, much like his sister before him, Oliver was as good as gold, sleeping through the whole thing, despite having four different sets of electrodes stuck on his head until they found a set that worked. The outcome………………..Nothing

No detectable ABRs. Welcome back to ANSD.

I wish I could write something profound, beautiful, poetic or inspiring. I wish I could offer the words of comfort to anyone visiting our blog for the first time that I managed with Alice, but for today at least I want to be angry.

Angry that such a beautiful little boy will never hear the world as I do. Angry that the poor little mite will have to follow the same journey as his sister……and at that point I smile. I remember Alice. I look at Alice and remember that the journey was all worth it.

She is my beautiful, remarkable daughter who still stuns me every day. And Oliver is her beautiful little brother who will do the same.

Alice, perversely is quite pleased….

Little Oliver

4 responses

  1. When we had our second we knew there was a chance she would be deaf too but it didn’t make me any more livid about the whole thing. It’s disgusting really, life, sometimes. But we also try to remember how wonderful our first born is. Still though, it’s not bloody fair.

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